I know a female who shared this story with me and I expanded it as a thought, a thought to be considered as it is related to future youth.
My Friend is married with two sons and she also 'claims' that her husband is very loving, loyal, efficient, caring, independent & trustworthy. Sometimes I feel funny when she lists so many qualities of her husband.
How can a human being have so many qualities that too when his first name is HUSBAND! :) Anyways here we are not concerned about husband. Idea is to give a thought to youth and future brigade. Let's give a name to my friend, lets say her Gauri.
Hmm! Seems I like the name.
So, one day Gauri went to a toyshop in a nearby market to buy some gift for her kid's friend. After looking at many gifts she could barely decide on a stuffed toy for the kid's friend. The lady sitting on the shop had very small eyes, reminded her instantly of Bollywood actress #Sridevi, portraying hugely big eyes in most of her work.
Somehow we remember someone similar when we look at the person but the case was different with Gauri. She starts visualizing opposite features when ever she meets some one. People with long neck reminds her of Cricket player from England #Gladstone small with a very small neck, virtually invisible. A person with short height reminds her of Bollywood legend #Amitabh bhachan. Opposites attracts, I guess!
Any ways the lady shopkeeper started packing the gift. She hairy, round and fair complexioned face. May be her parlor visit was due.
The lady started conversation with Gargi.
"Which school does your kid go to?"
"ABC public school." Gargi replied.
We shall avoid taking school names here. Why to give them free publicity when they deserve nothing of it.
"Oh, and the younger one?" She said with a glimpse of sadness.
Gargi wondered what’s going on in her mind. She seems to be in talking mood with her customer.
"The same one." Gargi said.
"Oh Didi, I must tell you, remove your sons from this school. It is good for nothing. This school is useless." She told Gargi as if sharing the most vulnerable information on the planet.
"My daughters are going to St. XYZ convent school. It is the best school in this locality." The lady disclosed so proudly that Gargi felt like a snail.
While holding a nice gift pack in her hand Gargi was feeling like a brain less mother who has sent her kids to worst school of the area. But the truth was not this.
"Like Diamond, truth has many facets."
On the very next day she went on to meet her son's 'ex tuition teacher'.
The word 'Ex' is very commonly used and misused now. Unfortunately teacher's community is also untouched by this use. After explaining issues about her health and telling her what kind of religious activities teacher is indulging herself in, discussion centered on kid’s studies. It was a natural move but gave Gargi a brain storming session.
Teacher asked Gargi if her kids are still going to ABC public school? She advised Gargi she should put her kids to St XYZ School or PQR international school or EFG international school. Gargi told me what the teacher said to her, and I found it really strange. Teacher told my friend as her kids are boys, present day schooling will matter most to them once they are grown up. If they have a label of convent school or International school then chances are they will get very good and educated spouses.
Phew! And here comes the 'awakening'. Teacher told her that when she will go out to find a perfect match for her sons she will be welcomed warmly by her future 'Bahus’, only if they are in these respected schools. And when they will come to know that they studied in Convent or International school then their families will also give you a hearty greet.
Oh gosh! I was very much astonished & laughed out on this kind of idea. But it gave me a shudder down my spines when I realized the gravity of this kind of thinking process.
“We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.”
And I strongly believe " What I think moves on to next generation, of course with few individual changes here and there."
Very Firstly the thought of gender biased schooling disturbed me here. Being a female of course I have a soft corner for girls but also I am not a commando with a woman empowerment flag in my hand. I equally love boys. :)
Issues being faced by females are more or less similar as faced by boys in our society. Yes I know except some biological processes. One, the teacher is denying the idea of girls studying in convents and International schools. Second she is depicting short sightedness of future would 'bahus' and their families. Like as if, at the time of marriage will the girl see if the boy had studied in convent or not. What about his education? Boy might be working in country's top MNC on the top management position and did his schooling from Public school or Govt school. Oh sad ! He is not eligible then. And what about his honesty, loyalty, disciplined life style and caring nature? Will these Convents and Internationals give the guarantee to imbibe these qualities in ‘boys’?
Well, it may be this teacher's lone thought but I am sure If an aged female teacher thinks like this then definitely there must be 100 other people who are thinking like this.
Second Idea behind this thought, which I could not reciprocate in the same manner, is Gargi's sons are very young and overlooking at their ability in academics, sports, or extra curricular activities, their marriage is linked directly to their schooling years ahead. Now, that’s funny!
What if they fall in love and opt for love marriage! :)
Give kids some time to settle and let them breathe. Let them germinate at their own pace. And please keep gender differences away from basic right of education.
I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway...let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.
Too much of water and fertilizer before time spoil the beauty of plants. Isn’t it?
But I shall tell you that Gargi is still bewildered about her kid’s schools. J
“We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open.”