Ammaji
Her mother in law is one of the most weird person
I have seen. May be she is saying this because she has not seen other’s mother
in laws. Sigh !
Manika’s mother in law left her studies in class 5th
so that her brothers can study and she can take care of the house. This is the
very first reason of her frustration. She always indulges herself in family
politics and backbiting. She has that strange habit of keeping important
stuff to herself. Life for her is only watching TV, roaming around, &
attending kirtans not for the religious purpose but for networking developed
there. She has this equally strange network of like minded mother in laws. When
she was young she used to attend Kitty parties. Kitty party is a concept of
organizing meetings by equally frustrated middle aged women when their husbands
are either working or cheating on them, and kids are either in school or
involved in drugs and love flings.Of Course there are normal people also, who
attend kitty parties just for fun. It's
not like that she is very religious, but now kitty parties has replaced Kirtans(not
much spelling difference rather). She is the very first lady I have ever seen
who is not religious at the age of 60 and a wonderful actor who pretends to be
religious for a time being.
In India over aged and aged women are considered
to go to kirtans, satsangs and the
likes. They are not like their western counterparts who at the age of 55 or 65
or may be more, still have multiple boyfriends, partying, drinking away their
woes and seems to enjoy their lives. So I was telling you about her mother in
law, whose life was full of frustration and now she was dispelling her
bitterness. Unfortunately her mother died when she was two only, and that also
adds to the insensitiveness which she scatters. One of her three brothers is a
criminal(a la pakiya and chappan kalia – J not with bigger profile). He was not a
celebrated criminal otherwise I could not have written anything on him. He just
did a single murder and few frauds, and alas ! that kills our chance to be in
fame. Had he been some right or left hand or leg of some D man than we would
have been somewhere else. Anyways what to say its destiny. Another sigh!
Amma (Nickname given by not so happy people around her) was
never pally with any of the relatives. I still try to understand her psyche
behind everything she does. She was never in tune with any of her female
relatives. I believe this is a part of family politics which is there in most
of the Indian families. Life here is full of insecurities and if someone get
success then he/she will be victim of other’s jealousy and bitching. This is a
very natural human behaviour. Amma’s life revolve around Television. Earlier I
used to think when ever I saw my mother that her life revolves around her
family of four people. But now I have learned that there is a vast canvas of “Colors”
and “Zee” also. MIL’s day started with “Saas bahu aur saazish” and ended with “Pavitra
Rishta”. Not even I single scene she leaves for anyone. When we dictate our
kids not to watch “The dirty picture” or “Jism” why not terms for elders, what to
watch. It was my friend Manika’s love that she shares everything what she feel
in her house. And I completely sympathize with her. She feels disgusted when
maids are working at home, and this dialogue of any of her serials falls like a
hot coal on ears – “Shaadi key baad waali suhagraat ke bare mein to sab jaante
hai, mein nahi bataonge shaadi se pehle kya kya hua”. And best part is you will
fall down on the ground when you will see the expression on her face while
watching this stupid scene. These Serials are ofcourse killers of our
integrity, compassion and esteem. Uff !
That was the moment when I felt that those who can not
hear are the happiest of all. Whole her life Amma has been so frustrated doing
what others told her to do, that she now does everything which others does not
like. I sometimes feel empathy for her on her thought process.
Whenever Manika called up a Kabadi waala or any
other worker like plumber, electrician,chair repairing man or a vegetable
seller, she will be sceptical about whatever he is doing. She is even
antagonistic towards maid servants working at home. Either Manika have called
her or there is some other reason that he has become her greatest foe now. She
will be too loud and hyper against him. That was the strangest thing I noticed
about her. Why on the earth she is insecure because of these people? They are
for her support in the house. People for her are enemies until n unless she is
benefitted from them. Diffidence, anxiety and inadequacy is the biggest
weakness of a person. I have seen this kind of behaviour in highly educated,
influential and rich people. People should understand that nothing can make
them feel inferior except their own thoughts. Strange but true !
Amma always love to be in control of circumstances. She
can call her younger son from far off place just to take money from him. He,
like a good son will come and go to nearby ATM to fetch money for her. Amma is
of the thinking that her sons are there for money fetching machines and she can ask for anything from them. But sometimes
Manika and me too, think this is actually good that she has strong faith in her sons
and they also take care of her very well.
If someone is coming home and getting gift for
her than he is most welcome, else he can go to hell ! J She was a materialistic person. She was a true
representative of the saying “Money makes world go round.” She will always
expect money and gifts from others but will never give anything in return. I
will pick a positive heid from this. If you are not gifting(read unwelcome) others
then after some time they will avoid meeting you and this will save your money
for feeding them or arranging for their stay. That makes are very economic
Amma. J
But some people are too weird to be be considered seriously.
She is one of them. Not all are alike and comparable. The best part of her was
she could change her statements and mince her words according to her
convenience. ‘Yes’ can any time be ‘No’ if it suits her. Now that called real
political intelligence. Manika always try to learn these tactics from her but
everytime fails. L
May be this is not her cup of tea. I always wonder what makes people so
eloquent, that it may hurt others. Why some people are so locked up inside them
that it makes them inconsiderate. Manika sometimes felt very frustrated She said she is tolerating her only because
of the love for her husband. After all she has given birth to him and was grown
in the environment where at least women are respected. I always tell her that
she should understand that only love and respect matters for a women, may be
not in the same order. Moreover she is the fortunate one to get both of them.
And she nods in a smiling yes. J
