! A journey by train !

Sometimes I wonder how God handles all of us. Yes it includes ALL of us, everyone on this planet - human beings, animals, insects, every flora or fauna. We are indeed puppets in HIS hands as rightly said in an old Bollywood cinema. Everything happens for a reason and that too a good one. There is a reason behind the chirping of birds, there is a reason behind roar of a lion, there is a reason behind life and death, and there is a reason behind every accident and incident. In my, not very long lifespan, I have not come across any incident, which has not positively affected me. Even the mistakes & blunders did make a huge impact on the environment around us.

Recently I encountered an interesting episode, in which the mistakes done could have been a disaster, if it was not God's wish. But to view it in other way, again it was a lesson to teach how to avoid our carelessness and un responsive behaviour. And there is a third view to it as well, that there are infect many good people around us. Its up to us if we encounter them or not!

We were returning from small town of Punjab after attending a family function. Our trip was very comfortable while going from Delhi to a small green village in Punjab. We were traveling by train this time leaving our cozy comfort of the car. My husband actually does not like to go for long drives. :) Isn't this so unromantic? Anyways romantic long drives are there only in movies and TV. So we got our train ticket's print outs and identity cards to show at the time of travel. We boarded the train in the evening around 7 pm from Punjab to Delhi. As soon as we boarded we found ourselves in the compartment full of Sikh men and women. I was amazed because it cannot be a co incidence that whole compartment is full of Sikhs. In few minutes we came to know that the whole compartment is full of a group from Sikh community. They were coming back from holy expedition to their famous pilgrimage located in Amritsar. They were of all ages and gender. Women were doing their 'path' and men were also in the process of arranging seats to their people or just relaxing after their holy encounter. What was making me furious because some other people also occupied our seats? Especially I was annoyed, as I having habit to react very quickly on any action done in front of me. Well! My husband was just trying to understand the situation at that time instead of getting angry. He has this innate capacity to be calm and quiet in worst of situations. 

After discussion for few minutes, kids and me were given a seat in the nearby compartment. There also few of their seats were booked. After good 15 minutes of wait, my husband came to me and told me shyly that we carelessly checked the timings of train and our train to Delhi is already gone in the morning at 7 am. And that strange '24 hours format' has done it again. The moment he told me this, I gave him a stern look as if he belongs to some terrorist group. 

But it took only few seconds to regain my calm back. 

What amazed me was the behaviour and attitude with which people in the compartment held this situation, especially group of Sikh people. They not only gave us seats but also provided us the dinner for all. As it was a ticket, which would have provided us with dinner also, had we boarded the right train? My kids were accommodated comfortably and played throughout the journey with other kids in the train. Overall it was a pleasurable journey and a great learning experience.

Though we could not get a chance to formally thank them, but in my heart I prayed for them. 

This incident solidified my belief that we all are interconnected with each other in this world. 

It’s only about striking the right chord. And moreover its up to you only, what kind of people are attracted towards you - good or bad: clever or simple. 

Bloom

I know a female who shared this story with me and I expanded it as a thought, a thought to be considered as it is related to future youth. 

My Friend is married with two sons and she also 'claims' that her husband is very loving, loyal, efficient, caring, independent & trustworthy. Sometimes I feel funny when she lists so many qualities of her husband.

How can a human being have so many qualities that too when his first name is HUSBAND! :) Anyways here we are not concerned about husband. Idea is to give a thought to youth and future brigade. Let's give a name to my friend, lets say her Gauri.

Hmm! Seems I like the name.

So, one day Gauri went to a toyshop in a nearby market to buy some gift for her kid's friend. After looking at many gifts she could barely decide on a stuffed toy for the kid's friend. The lady sitting on the shop had very small eyes, reminded her instantly of Bollywood actress #Sridevi, portraying hugely big eyes in most of her work.

Somehow we remember someone similar when we look at the person but the case was different with Gauri. She starts visualizing opposite features when ever she meets some one. People with long neck reminds her of Cricket player from England #Gladstone small with a very small neck, virtually invisible. A person with short height reminds her of Bollywood legend #Amitabh bhachan. Opposites attracts, I guess!

Any ways the lady shopkeeper started packing the gift. She hairy, round and fair complexioned face. May be her parlor visit was due. 

The lady started conversation with Gargi.

"Which school does your kid go to?"

"ABC public school." Gargi replied.

We shall avoid taking school names here. Why to give them free publicity when they deserve nothing of it. 

"Oh, and the younger one?" She said with a glimpse of sadness.

Gargi wondered what’s going on in her mind. She seems to be in talking mood with her customer.

"The same one." Gargi said.

"Oh Didi, I must tell you, remove your sons from this school. It is good for nothing. This school is useless." She told Gargi as if sharing the most vulnerable information on the planet.

"My daughters are going to St. XYZ convent school. It is the best school in this locality." The lady disclosed so proudly that Gargi felt like a snail. 

While holding a nice gift pack in her hand Gargi was feeling like a brain less mother who has sent her kids to worst school of the area. But the truth was not this. 

"Like Diamond, truth has many facets."

On the very next day she went on to meet her son's 'ex tuition teacher'.

 The word 'Ex' is very commonly used and misused now. Unfortunately teacher's community is also untouched by this use. After explaining issues about her health and telling her what kind of religious activities teacher is indulging herself in, discussion centered on kid’s studies. It was a natural move but gave Gargi a brain storming session.

Teacher asked Gargi if her kids are still going to ABC public school? She advised Gargi she should put her kids to St XYZ School or PQR international school or EFG international school. Gargi told me what the teacher said to her, and I found it really strange. Teacher told my friend as her kids are boys, present day schooling will matter most to them once they are grown up. If they have a label of convent school or International school then chances are they will get very good and educated spouses.

Phew! And here comes the 'awakening'. Teacher told her that when she will go out to find a perfect match for her sons she will be welcomed warmly by her future 'Bahus’, only if they are in these respected schools. And when they will come to know that they studied in Convent or International school then their families will also give you a hearty greet. 

Oh gosh! I was very much astonished & laughed out on this kind of idea. But it gave me a shudder down my spines when I realized the gravity of this kind of thinking process. 

“We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.”

And I strongly believe " What I think moves on to next generation, of course with few individual changes here and there."

Very Firstly the thought of gender biased schooling disturbed me here. Being a female of course I have a soft corner for girls but also I am not a commando with a woman empowerment flag in my hand. I equally love boys. :)

Issues being faced by females are more or less similar as faced by boys in our society. Yes I know except some biological processes. One, the teacher is denying the idea of girls studying in convents and International schools. Second she is depicting short sightedness of future would 'bahus' and their families. Like as if, at the time of marriage will the girl see if the boy had studied in convent or not. What about his education? Boy might be working in country's top MNC on the top management position and did his schooling from Public school or Govt school. Oh sad ! He is not eligible then. And what about his honesty, loyalty, disciplined life style and caring nature? Will these Convents and Internationals give the guarantee to imbibe these qualities in ‘boys’? 

Well, it may be this teacher's lone thought but I am sure If an aged female teacher thinks like this then definitely there must be 100 other people who are thinking like this.

Second Idea behind this thought, which I could not reciprocate in the same manner, is Gargi's sons are very young and overlooking at their ability in academics, sports, or extra curricular activities, their marriage is linked directly to their schooling years ahead. Now, that’s funny!

What if they fall in love and opt for love marriage! :)

Give kids some time to settle and let them breathe. Let them germinate at their own pace. And please keep gender differences away from basic right of education.

I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway...let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.

Too much of water and fertilizer before time spoil the beauty of plants. Isn’t it?

But I shall tell you that Gargi is still bewildered about her kid’s schools. J

“We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open.”
Harry Edwards

The Lurching eyes !

One humid but beautiful August afternoon I decided to gift myself a walk till nearby Grocery shop. The walk was pleasant but it proved me again that nothing has changed yet in-spite of so much of hoo-hullah on women's safety and so called empowerment. The distance was not even one kilometres but I felt I have come miles away. 

As soon as I left safe cocoon of the wall of my society, on the main road I met happened to see two grown up boys riding a bike. I shall call them grown up because they were driving, and I understand  in our country driving license is given after 18 years of 'grown up' age. 

I was crossing the road, though there is no such concept of Zebra crossing in our country, I was looking at all sides with my ultra alert eyes. The boys were daring also, I must say. The front boy or man or MCP was blinking at me again. The moment was actually funny for me. 

I was bought up in a family where blinking is like a crime and considered the most of heinous of acts. And his blink made me, mother two small boys, smile in my heart. I was not at all angry or astonished on their  gesture. I simply felt pity on them. What kind of upbringing they had ?

I ignored them. The act of ignorance is the most common action I was doing since my childhood. Being a girl I had to be tough and smart in all kind of situations and circumstances. Anyways those boys also crossed the road on their super human bike and left. 

I was least bothered about them and was neither afraid a bit. I continued with my journey towards grocery shop and started planning what I need to buy from there. Fresh aroma of cheese slice and Mayonnaise filled my nostrils on the mere thought. 

After another 10 steps forward a car starting crawling by my side. Two men were sitting in it. The car was with me for another 10 steps. I gave the most strenuous look to them. The car moved ahead and stopped after few meters. I pretended looking at my phone which is having a 3.2 megapixel of camera. I angled the phone to take picture of that lurching car as number plate was intact on its back side. The trick did worked, and within few minutes the car was no where to see. As if it was never on this road at this hour. 

I laughed and felt instant pride in my intelligence. They might have thought that I have taken the picture of number plate and sending to someone. Though I knew in my heart, that I am plain lucky. Whatever it was I got rid of those sick eyes. 

And after few minutes I reached safely to my delicious cheese and Myo' !

Lots of insane things happen on the road, but my experience was alarming and interesting. I really feel pity and distraught for these kind of people whose mouth waters only at the sight of woman. The women for them is a mere object, which they can use according to their wish. 

The only word for them is F**K off !

First step !

I write what I feel. I write what I dream. My thoughts can't make you happy, but can tell you who am I ! Life will be an alien if it is a thoughtless, wordless process. Life comes to a halt when there are no words to share, words, which are coming from brain and going straight to heart. 

Once there was a small kid of age 4 who most of the time kept on scribbling something or the other on paper. He used to do it on daily basis. He wrote many pages in few months and neatly kept those pages in a file. One day his mother thought that I should also see what my intelligent kid is writing on paper. She went to his room secretly, as he might object to her intrusion. She opened the file and saw the papers in front of him. She was shocked and at the same time amused to see no words. He was just moving pen in different directions and thus making beautiful designs out of it. It seemed some arabic or any other language for that matter. They were beautiful words with out meaning. Mother smiled and understood that her son is nourishing his brain by scribbling these meaningless words. As he is too young to write story or fiction or poems he is just putting pen and paper together. While doing so he was satisfying himself that he can also write and when time will come he shall definitely be a writer of his kind. She was indeed supportive and at the same time proud of her son. 

The turning point here is taking initiative, no matter how small it is. Once you start riding a bicycle there is no looking back, you can never ever forget to do so. To take a First step is the new mantra, if one won't take first step how will he/she complete his journey? Keep on trying and doing something that satisfy you, there is a soul inside each one of us which needs YOU.

Please dont ignore it! Do your bits and pieces and cherish that you are alive.  

So keep writing and sharing  

! Its your choice !

Oct 2012

Festive season is here again !

Lots of holidays, shopping, decorations and loads of fun. Days start running when this season of the year comes or it seems natural due to some movements in space and days become short and nights longer. Whatever it may be, things become special and enchanting. Markets display all their products with lots of specialties and heavy discounts. But God only knows if they give genuine cut in prices or its fake to lure the customers. Shopping bags become double in numbers and money vanishes from the purses.

During the same period when once I was spending/wasting my husband's wallet in one of the up class markets of metro city I met with a strange incident. 

Moving from one shop to the another I was feeling really good, as I purchased few accessories and clothes for myself. Of course ! What do you think? shopping begins with lady of the house and also ends at her fancy. Well ! I also bought some beautiful caricatures and art pieces for my home. I bought some nice n cute clothes for my boys. And then I entered another home furnishing shop, which I find the most attractive in the whole shopping area. I felt someone is following me since when I purchased those expensive caricatures for home. You know, women possess an EYE in their back, and if someone is looking at her in the crowd she will come to know at once. I could feel someone's eyes at my back. Suddenly I felt cold. I told myself that though I am alone but this market is full of all kind of people. I instantly discouraged the thought that no one helps you when you are in need in the open. Newspapers are full of these kind of horrible stories.

Being optimistic I again told myself that this is my doubt and  I won't be hurt in any ways. But my heart was saying something else and also thumping little faster than regular. Anyways I took a deep breath and tried to look out with all my might to see if someone suspicious is there. I was standing among the ultra beautiful light and wall hangings looking out, I saw a very crudely dressed man, in his 20's, darker than dark complexion, yellow teeth, cluttered hair locks, very thin, bare foot and very restless looking here and there. In the middle of such a beautiful things he looked more ugly. His eyes were marble white with dark black pupil filled with remorse and concern. Now I was sure that this man is following me. I felt little afraid of him but little only, somehow he was not scary.

Till now I was totally out of my shopping mood and my mind was fast running like a horse who wants to reach at its destination.But now what should I do? Moreover the effective sales man inside the showroom was also diverting me from my thinking horses. Sales man wanted to sell some awesome stuff to me. Anyways I have to face it. Should I take help of sales man or some one else or I should sort this on my own?

That moment was like an hour for me in which I was given a question paper and I don't even know a single answer. Being hard hearted and strong has its own disadvantages, the one I faced now. And I decided to be on my own. I gathered all my might and remembered my God and came out of that amazing palatial showroom. I started walking fast towards metro station, now again I could feel those Black and White eyes on my back. Now that was frosty. I was almost running while walking as evening had started putting its grey blanket on the mother earth and grey was always very scary and creepy. As I left the market area I started feeling calm, it seems there is no one following me now. I slowed down a little and tried to look back. Damn ! this cervical pain, I can't even move my neck. So I turned myself completely to look back. And there was no one. As if there was no one following me. There were regular people moving around. I took a breathe of relief after such a long time. I smiled inside. And as I turned back to move to metro station, He was standing in front of me. I was zapped to see him. Before I could do something, he said," Madamji, yeh apka samaan gir gaya tha, mein apko bahut der se dhoond raha tha, maaf karna madamji ek baar samaan check kar lena."

I was speechless. In his dirty black hand he was carrying my pink christian Dior pouch which was carrying my license, cards and cash. I slowly took my pouch from his hands, thinking how our thought process changes just looking at a person and we start judging & presuming them with their outside persona. This was a  lesson of life. I instantly said," Thank you, ismein bahut zaroori samaan tha, aur yeh aap rakh lo." I grabbed first picture of Gandhiji which came in my hand and moved it in his direction.

He very genuinely smiled and said which I shall never try to forget," Nahi madamji yeh nahi chaeye, yahan market sab poochte hai kaam karega magar kaam koi nahi deta, jinhone bhi kaam diya unhe apna gussa utarane ke liye koi chaeye tha, to mujhe rakha, mann kara maara, mann kara gaali dee. maar khaane se acha sadak par hawa khaana theek laga mujhe. mere madad koi nahi karna chahta, sab apne madad kar rahe hai. gareeb ki madad karke swarg milege sochte hai, magar marne ke baad kisey pata kaun kahan jaata hai.

Thank you madamji."

He turned back and ran away in that dark grey blanket which was getting darker every second. And I felt haziness inside my eyes.

By now, it was all over. My shopping experience gave me a teaching. We philanthropist by choice, and those who do philanthropy need this assurance the most that whatever they are doing, they are doing it for the sake of poor and deprived. Well, it included me also.

And slowly in the dark blanket I reached the metro station and put my bags on the escalator to catch my AC women compartment.