A Nine-gated Palace

Have you ever felt the smell of time? Do you remember the fragrances of vine? Past, which will never come back But will always be there with us awake Do you remember the smell of that afternoon when birds used to sing and croon Do you remember the smell of that tree under which you sat free And waited for your rickshaw puller because that day school was fun  & at the same time hectic and fuller Slowly reaching your sweet home, as it was too hot a day for  rickshaw puller  to pull it alone There were other mates also sitting in it And it smelled like a nest full of birds  chirping gloriously in the jungle of concrete And then suddenly comes a huge cloud  and embraces sun like a lover hug's and behaving himself as a smug Abruptly ambience started smelling good I was floating in the glory of cloud's hood It was a mirage & was misunderstood The sun was indeed very str...

Today is Friday, The 13 & month is September. The day considered inauspicious all over the world. But today we have seen the history in the making, life will never be the same again after this day.  16 December 2012 unfortunate Rape incident has stirred the whole world like a dry leaf in the storm.  Since morning I was on the move to visit my clients for some work. But in the back of my mind, I desperately wanted to sit in front of news channel and be the witness of Jumbo judgement.  After this incident life for women in Delhi has become more vulnerable and challenging. Women in general had stopped leaving home after 7pm but some brave heart were still moving in the night because of their jobs or some other reasons.It took nine months for Indian judiciary to announce the verdict on the convicts. Though the victim had died and given the dying statement against the criminals, still law took nine whole months to give decision. Why?  Nothing exceptional ha...

I know a female who shared this story with me and I expanded it as a thought, a thought to be considered as it is related to future youth.  My Friend is married with two sons and she also 'claims' that her husband is very loving, loyal, efficient, caring, independent & trustworthy. Sometimes I feel funny when she lists so many qualities of her husband. How can a human being have so many qualities that too when his first name is HUSBAND! :) Anyways here we are not concerned about husband. Idea is to give a thought to youth and future brigade. Let's give a name to my friend, lets say her Gauri. Hmm! Seems I like the name. So, one day Gauri went to a toyshop in a nearby market to buy some gift for her kid's friend. After looking at many gifts she could barely decide on a stuffed toy for the kid's friend. The lady sitting on the shop had very small eyes, reminded her instantly of Bollywood actress #Sridevi, portraying hugely b...

WOW! This Diwali I shall treat myself with a big luxury car. I shall also have some diamond jewelry for myself. I need to get a nice Guitar & latest XBOX for my kids. Also need an expensive watch for my husband…….. Uff! So much materialism to gain in such a little time. Then a thought sparks my mind and give me a shudder. What if I perish tomorrow then I wont be able to enjoy pleasure from these things. No one will remember me as a lady who had a big car, huge property or amazing jewelry. No one will remember me if I was blessed with most wonderful kids and a very loving husband. They will only remember me, what I held in my heart all life long – love or hate, regret or contentment, compassion or indifference. Life is a moment , it makes us happy and sad in that very second ! #versesMahabharta Yaksha : “What is the most wondrous thing on the earth?” Yudhishthir: “Each day countless humans enter The temple of death, yet the ones left behind continue to live as thou...

HIS warm breath was still on HER neck, humming though ears and going till the heart embracing the heart from all four quarters His sweet nothings were still in the air, dancing with glory of their togetherness making an incision in the middle of her heart. HIS affectionate sight was so intense  looking into HER eyes as if meeting them  halfway while making space in HER heart His subtle and restless touch of fingers still loom large on HER knotted fingers and caressing her finger tips with her thumb HIS look travelling till the road end still layering HER own glance in whatever or whosoever SHE saw HIS lips twirled like vine of grape mere look of which melted HER  as if she is a snow ball melting near the fire HIS voice looming around like a whirlwind making a funnel in which HER being is twirling deep down & down. In spite of all the remoteness HE is not around HER but SHE is still clinging to the mys...

We can not force ourselves to love - or to withhold it. At best we can curb our actions. The heart itself is beyond our control. That is its power and its weakness.  #Theninegatedpalace

A situation in itself, is neither happy nor unhappy.Its only your response to it that causes your sorrow. #Verses - Krishna

One humid but beautiful August afternoon I decided to gift myself a walk till nearby Grocery shop. The walk was pleasant but it proved me again that nothing has changed yet in-spite of so much of hoo-hullah on women's safety and so called empowerment. The distance was not even one kilometres but I felt I have come miles away.  As soon as I left safe cocoon of the wall of my society, on the main road I met happened to see two grown up boys riding a bike. I shall call them grown up because they were driving, and I understand  in our country driving license is given after 18 years of 'grown up' age.  I was crossing the road, though there is no such concept of Zebra crossing in our country, I was looking at all sides with my ultra alert eyes. The boys were daring also, I must say. The front boy or man or MCP was blinking at me again. The moment was actually funny for me.  I was bought up in a family where blinking is like a crime and consider...

वो ठंडी हवा के झोंके ! वो उड़ते हुए पर्दे ! FM  RADIO  पर गुनगुनाते गुरु दत्त के नगमें ! बीच बीच में आती बादलों के गरजने की आवाज़ , पानी पानी की टप टप की आवाज़ कभी आती कभी बंद हो जाती ! कहीं कोई खुल्ला दरवाज़ा हवा से जोर से बजता , याद आता अचानक छत पर कुछ है तो नहीं जो भीग जायेगा ! फिर वापस आँखें किताब पर गडा देती हूँ "मंटो की अमर कहानियाँ" यह कहानियाँ भी अजीब ही होती है  ! एक बार शुरू हो जायें तो बीच में छोडी भी नहीं जाती बिलकुल जीवन की तरह , एक बार दुनिया में आजाओ तो जिंदगी की आदत से हो जाती है चाहे वोह गले से लगाये या न लगाये ! यह फुर्सत, यह लम्हे रूक  जाये अगर सोचूँ में अपनी गोल बेंत की चेयर  पर, पास रखा BAMBOO का पौधा मुरझा गया है पता नहीं क्यों? BALCONY से झांकते पीले बल्ब चमक रहे थे जैसे बारिश के पानी में आँखें धुल कर साफ़ हो गए हों ! ऐसी कोई बारिश बनानी  चाहेए जो देखने का अंदाज़ ही बदल दे ! ऐसी  कोई महक बननी चाहेए जो भीतर तक समा जाये ! ऐसी कोई रौशनी हो जो अन्धकार को चीर दे ! ऐसी कोई आव...

खोल दो खिड़कियाँ को बूंदों को अन्दर आने दो  पड़ने दो हथेलियों पर ऐसे  जैसे गरम रेत पर पानी का  mirage बन जाये ! तपती धरती सी मेरी रूह  को मिल गया सावन जैसे  आँखों में पानी ऐसे फ़ेला ऐसे  जैसे रंग फर्श पर बिखर गए हों ! जब उन् पोरों पर जाकर रुका पानी  तो उससे रॊक लेने को जी चाहा  क्योंकि पोरों से गालॊ तक की राह  पर लाख सवाल होते है  जिनका कोई जवाब नहीं होता  और न ही वो सवाल रुकते है  ज्यादा देर उस mirage की तरह जो मेरी  हथेलियों पर  आकर बन गया था  समझा तो पता लगा  उस mirage को पार करते ही  सारे सवाल और जवाब भी लुप्त हो गए !

It seems yesterday only, when she was a little girl, as innocent as it can be. Who can forget going to Nani Ke ghar every year. She with her cousin going out to have tiki and golgappe under scorching sun was a child's play.  Mummy scolded and commented but who was listening. She was in her dream world where things were plain simple, no complications.  Then why things turned upside down and she became an adult in a night when her cousin forced himself on her.  He was her friend, brother, mate and mentor.  She lost the meaning of relationships that ever existed. When such meanings are lost one becomes indifferent and indifference hurts the most, even more than kindness.  She is now indifferent, indifferent to the world ! 

वो झिलमिलाती हंसी वो आँखों में शरारत वो नन्हे हाथॊ से मुझे छूना , वो छोटी छोटी उंगलीयो से मेरे गालॊन को सहलाना वो तेरा तेज़ी से दौड़ना और मेरे ऊपर Jump लगाना ! वो तेरे ढेरॊन सवाल और उनके  मुश्किल जवाब वो तेरा Toys के लिए मचलना वो तेरा टीवी के लिए रोना वो तेरा चॉकलेट के लिए झीकना वो तेरा घूमने जाने के लिए मनाना वो तेरा लेटेस्ट फ़िल्मी गाने गाना वो तेरा TV में देखके Dance Copy करना ! वो तेरा हमेशा अपनी पसंद के कपढ़े निकाल कर पहनना और सारी अलमारी खराब कर देना वो तेरे मीठे बातें बनाना और उन्हें बार बार सुनाना वो बड़े भाई से लड़ना और फिरउसी के साथ खेलना ! यह सब कुछ सालों में खो जाने है, और तुझे एक समझदार और परिपक्व इंसान बन जाना है ! पर मैं वहीं हूँ  अभी जब तीन साल पहले तुमने आकर मेरा घर खुशबू से भर दिया था ! मैं हमेशा यहीं रहूंगी इन् नन्हे कदमॊ के साथ इन् प्यारी बातों के साथ इन् नन्ही  उंगलियों के साथ इन् शरारती आँखों में इस छोटे से आलिंगन में सदा ही ! ...

Chand ka mooh tedha hai: चलते हुए ! : वो हिलती हुई ट्रेन में अहसास हुआ की पीछे कुछ छुट सा गया था   दिए की लौ सी झिलमिल चलती ट्रेन ने कुछ याद दिलाया है  वो छुटते खेत  वो ...

वो हिलती हुई ट्रेन में अहसास हुआ की पीछे कुछ छुट सा गया था   दिए की लौ सी झिलमिल चलती ट्रेन ने कुछ याद दिलाया है  वो छुटते खेत  वो दौड़ते पेड़  जैसे माँ से जिद कर रहे हो हमें बाहर जाने दो न ! वो लाल सफ़ेद डिस्टेंपर से सजे घर  वो खुली छत, वो खुला आँगन  कहती है कहानी उस बिंदास अंदाज़ की  जो मेट्रो सिटी में कहाँ मिलती है  क्या अंदाज़ बदलने से कोई बिंदास जो जाता है? वो एक अकेला सा घर उस खेत में   उसमें कुछ लोग रहते होंगे  ए काश वोह भरे हों यादॊ और बेबाक बातों से  वोह छोटा सा सरसों के खेत का टुकड़ा  किसी ने बड़े यतन से बचाया होगा  कंक्रीट जंगल के ठेकेदारों से  और वो आया एक छोटा सा स्टेशन   जी में अता था की अपनी मंजिल आ जाये जल्दी ही  पर जब यह छोटे छोटे सुन्दर पढ़ाव आते है  तो जी बदल जाता है  कि सफ़र यूहीं चलता रहे  ऐसा ही कुछ होता है जीवन में  मंजिल की चाह नहीं रह जाती  न ही उसकी याद आती है...

मंदिर में दूध चढ़ाने  जो मै गया तो अहसास हुआ कि दूसरों की ख़ुशी के लिए भूके  को और मार आया !

सर्दी की  बारिश का मज़ा ही कुछ और है, बहती नाक कान में मिर्ची  गले में खराश  फिर भी निर्मल जल की बूँदें  ह्रदय को ठंडक दे जाती  इस जुकाम ने नैनों से कितनी बूंदे टपकाई  पर झम झम तेज़ आवाज़ से गिरते  पानी  को देखे बिना नज़रें न भीगी ! गरम हथेली पर जब पानी की बूँद पडी   तो जाना  पानी कितना  निश्चल है  सबको एक सामान छलता  है ! कपूलों की ठंडक से जाना  सर्दी की बारिश की रौनक ही कुछ और है  सर्दी की बारिश की मज़ा ही कुछ और है !

Chand ka mooh tedha hai: I write what I feel. I write what I dream. My thou... : I write what I feel. I write what I dream. My thoughts can't make you happy, but can tell you who am I ! Life will an allien if it is a th...

I write what I feel. I write what I dream. My thoughts can't make you happy, but can tell you who am I ! Life will be an alien if it is a thoughtless, wordless process. Life comes to a halt when there are no words to share, words, which are coming from brain and going straight to heart.  Once there was a small kid of age 4 who most of the time kept on scribbling something or the other on paper. He used to do it on daily basis. He wrote many pages in few months and neatly kept those pages in a file. One day his mother thought that I should also see what my intelligent kid is writing on paper. She went to his room secretly, as he might object to her intrusion. She opened the file and saw the papers in front of him. She was shocked and at the same time amused to see no words. He was just moving pen in different directions and thus making beautiful designs out of it. It seemed some arabic or any other language for that matter. They were beautifu...

गहरी रात की चादर ऐसे ढक गयी मुझको जैसे सर्दी में रजाई ने घेर हो मुझको ! उदास मनन उदास आंखों की कहानी याद न कर याद न आ फिर भी आँखों के किसी कोने से झाकता है वो ! हर सुबह हर शाम कब खोया था कब चला गया था पता नहीं लगा कब भूलेगा कब भुलाएगा कौन जाने जाना तो मुझे भी था उसकी पल्कॊन की कोरों में कब पहुचीं कब वहां घर कर गयी कौन समझे समझना तो उसे भी था पर उसके दिल में भी एक दिमाग था जो न समझता था न जानता था! गहरी रात की चादर यूं घेरे है मुझको !

2014 - Another new year has come, and it has come again indeed with lots of speculations, promises, resolutions.  This time also I have to do some promises to self, will make some resolutions and will try not to break them.  The first thing I promise to self that I shall continue to be kind and generous to all irrespective of other reactions or behavior. This I was lacking since last so many years. We get affected very easily with how others are treating us. We want everyone around us to be polite and nice to us which in turn makes the environment very pleasant. But many a times we ourselves become rude. How can we expect a subtle behavior from others when we ourselves are not grounded.  Here comes "the turning point".  No matter what others do or think - good or bad, I pledge to keep doing good. I am ME, and can't be like others. I shall follow the path of kindness only whether I be treated kindly or not.  It is definitely difficult to fo...